If only I were more...

If only I were more...

If only I were more crafty, I would quilt, knit, and sew all the little things for my children I dream of making them.

If only I were a better cook, I would knock the socks off daily dinners and restore my husband's faith in Sunday roast beef dinner.

If only I weren't such a dreamer, I'd get down to business, stop procrastinating, and spring clean my way to clean, airy closets and clutter free rooms.

If only I would learn to relax, I may just enjoy the ride more.

If only I were stronger, braver, more sweet and gentle, I may just be able to solve the world's problems.

If only I were more...

Here's the thing though, yes, I want to be all these things, I truly, heart and soul, desire to be this "more", and some days I am. But today, right now, I am learning that loving myself right now, the good, the bad, and the ugly is what's most important. I'm learning that nobody is the "perfect" mother, that everyone has off days, and that everyone's children have tantrums-even if they won't admit it. I'm learning that it's okay to make mistakes.

Why? Because my Teacher, my Abba, my Saviour has provided me with the most beautiful space in which to grow, flourish, and become exactly who He created me to be. And right now, that's exactly who I am. I am His child, and that's what's most important.

Maybe someday soon I'll learn how to knit better, and I'll be able to buy that sewing machine I long for, and make a couple of quilts for my babies. Maybe one day I'll be able to cook like my mama. Maybe...

Today, right now, I will focus on this moment, on the fact that I can hear my babies as they fall asleep, that my home is quiet and comforting, that I am well. I am blessed, and there is more to come.